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Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Fixing Java's Epic Fail

----
ACT I
EXT. NIGHT
A Grand Torino is parked in a vacant lot.
A slim figure with a gun towers over strange penguin-like figure,

"working" over a certain car. 




I will speak with words of one sound.
I will not raise my tone.
I will not take this one more day.

We had high hopes for you.
Day and night, night and day.
But you are a punk.
We took it and took it.
We thought it would stop.
We thought it would change but it did not.

Here is where we are.
You can change or you can die.
It is up to you.
So what will you do punk,
now that you are five and ten?


---

He was supposed to be objective, portable and secure.

"Leaks no more" they said. "Browser-ready".

We bought in and let you work with... with your GUI's, your API's, your IDE's. You took our days our nights AND our weekends.



You were slow. Twenty times slow.

Here's the lesson punk:

TRUST CANNOT BE AUTOMATED
 

Sometimes you need a person to MAKE A CHOICE.
Baseball has an umpire. There is a reason for that.


Here's your choice.


FIX THIS or the strange little man gets it:

1) Enable file I/O in any context, with MANNERS

MANNERS means ASK PERMISSION:
"Strange little man wants to write file X from author Y on your computer, is that okay?"

2) Eliminate security obstructions for developers on their own machines.

Deployment is a separate step, with MANNERS

3) Enable compilation to native code on all platforms.

Gnu fixed this, adopt it.

4) Enable pipes with MANNERS.

Got that Captcha?!